Don’t be THAT tourist

My first visit to Thailand was as an 8 or 9 year old little girl. We were having a week on a gorgeous ,almost uninhabited island paradise , turns out it was Phuket circa 1978 or so. Since then it has changed into a popular tourist destination with a McDonalds and Haagen Das on the beachfront. I was burnt to a crisp without any sunblock on and have forever attributed my freckles to that week in the sun and sea. So first point : wear sunblock and bring it with you as it’s very expensive there.

Next , pack very lightweight cotton clothing and don’t pack jeans and high heels. The most comfortable loose fitting clothes are best and you may find yourself changing outfits twice per day due to the humidity or being caught in a rainstorm. Ladies bring your favorite hair serum and scarves as the humidity will frizz your hair as soon as you step off the plane.

If you intend to visit a temple then a light cotton shawl, long pants and or long sleeves for the ladies. Wear slip on shoes as you will be expected to remove them at each doorway. just a note : even the temples have signs that your shoes may be stolen if you leave them outside, hmmm I like your shoes better as I leave, so I’ll take them!

The male monks are not permitted to touch females or to be touched. They must be shown respect at all times. No arms slung around them forcing a selfie. They are serene and incredibly colorful especially when in a group , but please take your photos at a distance or ask if you may take a photograph.

When you visit a beach in Thailand there may be rows of chairs, recliners and umbrellas. Firstly determine whether a resort owns those chairs solely for guest use , and if not, if you linger around one for long enough( about 90 seconds) , a fella will run towards you to rent you one for the day at about $3. He will look after your belongings (a watchful eye only) and will bring you snacks and drinks at a slightly inflated price. Each time you leave he will sweep the sand off your lounger and keep the area tidy. Sort of cabana boy style. A variety of food vendors will walk past with delicious snacks but the worst are those peddling souvenirs , they are relentless. Smile, say no thank you and do not look up from your book.

Night markets are exciting and full of colorful items to buy, smells of bbq meats and hot bulbs over each stall. Jostling people and the occasional pickpocket as in any country. There are knock off Gucci and Chanel, etc with really poorly spelt English t-shirts totally missing the original meaning. One example was a shirt we saw (and had to buy) which said ‘make out with my butt’ , we translated it back into ‘Kiss my A$$ !’

Please do not ride the elephants at the tours. We did and after finding out the inhumane ways they are treated , will not do so again. One exception ; there is a great elephant rescue in Hua Hin that has a baby elephant that gives kids rides and delights in it for the reward of lots of bananas !

Another ride not to undertake is that of a moped driver. If I say 10,000 mopeds on one road at a time , no helmets , no licenses , no road sense. That’s enough.

The food in Thailand is 10 times more spicy than anything you have had in the USA or UK so don’t say ‘yay I’ll have it Thai spicy’ or you will most likely never put out that fire and it will revisit you at the other end the following day. Pace yourself! Have you seen a traditional Thai toilet ( squat and rinse)?

Pharmacies are a veritable candy store in Thailand offering all sorts with no prescription required. Keep in mind that even though you bought it in Thailand , you’ll still need a prescription at International customs.

“Thai time” is one aspect I cannot get my head around as it’s if and when they feel like doing something. I’m mildly OCD and I want it now. Ain’t gonna happen. They will get to it when they get to it. I’ll have a very hard time with this.

Bargaining is a fun part of the markets. The rule of thumb is to bargain back with half of what they say and wrangle from there. Over the years the haggling has become less fun because they give up and walk away before you do. Could be the internet and more cultural awareness. If you’d really like the item , be reasonable.

Learn a few phrases and how to perform the wai , also a few of the numbers etc and the Thai people will be so pleased. English is spoken widely but who doesn’t like a foreigner trying to fit in ?

The islands off Thailand are gorgeous but also where many backpackers go so may not be the island paradise you were expecting ( unless you can afford the 5 star resort on a private island away from the bustle) Full moon parties and drunkards flock to the islands for a night of endless pleasures.

My idea of misery.

Thailand is so beautiful and well worth the visit for all ages , who knows perhaps one or two of you will visit ?

~Arlene